Individuals fall in love every day — but when a twosome goes totally gaga over one another, what’s going on in their brains?
Over the past few decades, many researchers have looked at the so called “rules of interest” — what it is about our chemical makeup that sparks upward chemistry with someone else. It ’s never just one thing, like pheromones or facial symmetry,” says a psychologist, PhD, Brian Grossman and communicating expert in Los Angeles. “But there are some definite, specific problems that lend themselves to immediate, long-term appeal and relationships.”
Perhaps it’s one of these autumn-in-love factors.
Think it was his cunning sense of humour or killer pot roast that had you falling for him? Turns out, it likely had more regarding his voting history. And that makes sense, says Dr. Grossman: “It would be tough to have a relationship long-term with someone with a radically different political view. It is a different value set, which goes to our center.”
Turns out, it likely had more regarding his voting history. A recent Rice University study published in the Journal of Politics found that we tend to select partners with similar political views — couples who swing the same way politically outnumbered those with similar personality traits, in fact, looks, and religious beliefs. And that makes sense, says Dr. Grossman: “It would be tough to have a relationship long-term with someone with a radically different political view. It’s a different value set, which goes to our center.”
The Measurements of a Woman
There’s no denying that physical appearance plays a huge part in intimate interest — but who understood it got this unique? Researchers at the University of Texas found that girls with a low waist-to-hip ratio (in which the waist is significantly narrower compared to the hips) are more appealing to men than those with broader midsections.
What is in a waist size? Researchers believe that a good waist-to-hip ratio may indicate to a man that the woman has good health and reproductive ability. “Heavier folks have a harder time. But it’s not something we do actively. No one’s ever gone to a bar and seen a woman and said, ‘Wow, look at her waist-to-hip ratio, she looks great!'” Chalk it up as one of those subliminal rules of appeal.
If you are certainly one of those types who puts others first, you’re in luck: You may have a greater chance at a relationship that is satisfying, healthy.
While it is not all that astonishing that altruistic people have better relationships (they’re more likely to be considerate and kind toward their spouses, says Grossman), there is a fine line between being selfless and a people-pleaser. It is important to understand the way to say no (for example, when you are overextending yourself), or you may wind up doing damage to your emotional health.
An Australian study found that, subconscious though it may be, women tend to prefer male faces which are symmetrical (which will be generally considered an indication of good health). “It is a survival of the fittest thing,” Grossman says. “We subconsciously examine their face and say, ‘That’s a terrific face — our kids are likely to look wonderful!” This judgment is a quick one, also — it takes not less than the usual nanosecond, but less when compared to a second, says Grossman.
No one enjoys long-distance relationships — but that has to do with someone’s address affects whether you’ll be romantically attracted to them. Instead, it’s to do with cultural values: If you’re raised in one area, your idea of attractiveness may be totally different than that of someone lifted someplace else.
In fact, a study published in the journal Psychological Science found that men who live in cultures where cash and food are tight have a tendency to find heftier women more appealing than ones that were thinner. The extra few pounds may be seen by these men as a status symbol; a buxom body signals having the means to purchase lots of food. Given these findings, it is not surprising that super-skinny people are idealized in areas where there are lots of resources.
The Amount Of Candles On The Cake
We have become a culture that’s obsessed with defying age — and research may help demonstrate why: A study from the journal Current Anthropology found that men from five different cultures revealed a taste for females with youthful features like big eyes, a little nose, and full lips. Do not be too quick to write away these men as pigs, yet: These findings show that we seek out partners who are most likely to be able to reproduce. And though the study did not analyze the tastes of women, Grossman is willing to bet that females have similar penchants for younger-looking partners.
But Grossman warns that physical attraction doesn’t always add up to a healthy relationship. Though a 65-year-old man might find a 20-year-old girl appealing, they are likely not a great match. “A more than 25- or 30-year difference is always hard to beat,” he says.
Opposites may attract, but that doesn’t mean they’re a match made in paradise. In reality, recent studies have helped explained the happening of doppelganger couples. While participants in a Canadian study were less likely to choose people who have similar-looking faces for a short term relationship, they were more trusting of individuals with faces that resembled their own — and consequently more likely to end up in the long term with them.
The researchers theorize that this reply evolved to prevent unintentionally becoming sexually attracted to relatives, while at once guiding us to fall in love with long term mates who are pretty similar to us. Now we realize the whole ‘opposites attract’ matter is lust.. Most opposites don’t stay together long term.”
Your genetic makeup may influences the kinds of relationships you invent. An Italian study found that people with certain relationship fashions were most likely to carry particular biological markers in their brains. This may signal that biology plays a variable in our appeals that are romantic, but it does not mean that our autumn-in-love science can always forecasts behavior. “I certainly consider lots of behavior is foreseeable,” Grossman says. “But can you demonstrate this, precisely, every time? No. There will continually be outliers.”
Bottom line? The rules of attraction can’t be written in stone — which is love leaves even the best of us mystified.